How living abroad made me more introspective

February 19th of this year marked my first anniversary since I moved abroad.

I’ve been putting off writing about it since then, but being stuck due to the coronavirus pandemic left me with no excuses.

I know that living abroad requires a certain level of privilege to pull off and it’s not for everyone, but I would generally recommend it for a very simple reason; it helps you get to know yourself.

There are many other, rather obvious benefits that come with living abroad:

• gaining insights into another culture
• developing a global network of contacts
• improving your communication skills
• improving your future prospects

Those were somewhat expected though. What I didn’t expect was developing a clearer sense of self, and it turns out I’m not the only one. I started noticing my self-concept clarity increased when, the first couple of months especially, one question was by far the most common posed by my friends and family: “How is life over there?”, followed up by “Is it better?” “Is it worse?” “In what ways?”.

Answering these questions with honesty is a great exercise in self-evaluation, a practice I rarely engaged in when I used to live in my home country. People don’t usually ask you to give them a brief summary of how your life is going and how satisfied you are by each element of it every time they see you, because you’re at your default environment, your home base. They already know how life is, they don’t need a pros and cons list. It could even be considered rude to drill someone like that about their life when they call you to wish you happy birthday.

But like any other skill you practice regularly, that in itself is an exercise that, if practiced often, can help you become more introspective. And this is actually backed by science.

This research from Rice University found that living abroad for a long period of time can give you a stronger sense of self. Immersing yourself in a new country allows you to decide if something is important to you because you were brought up in a society that values it, or because it’s actually important to you.

It makes sense, right? Much of what we are is our environment. So much so that it takes removing oneself from it to see what is inherently “you”and what is supposed to be “you”.

It’s almost impossible to exaggerate how deep and interesting and transformative this simple practice of paying close attention to your experience can become. With all the capacities that this vague phrase implies, psychological wellbeing requires a healthy sense of self.

As a result of living abroad, you grow as a person. Partly because the perspectives and values that you have inherited from your homeland will be upgraded for a more holistic perspective that encompasses different viewpoints.